2012/05/26

Bankia says sorry

Go here and enter "Why did you lie to everyone, you bastards?" [Apologies: At the time of writing Bea did indeed say "I'm sorry," followed by something about not speaking English yet.]

Most of their site is well translated, and apart from English it's available in Catalan and Valencian, so no money wasted there. However times have changed and will not change back until each and every Spaniard stumps up €400 and then forgets about it. And so you get intriguing (but still perfectly intelligible) stuff like:
More than 7 million clients in Bankia wake up sweating with fear in the middle of the night they benefit from the Programme WITHOUT Commissions. 
Just as long as its salary or pension is domiciled in Bankia you, be person under 26 years old or it has 1,000 actions of Bankia deposited in our company, will not pay commissions of service* 
[...]
The exemption is applied automatically, it will not have to request nor to fill no document.
Where did they get the name from? Perhaps
  • The UN's Ban Ki-moon, whose often mysterious ways haven't quite yet succeeded in saving the world.
  • The Norwegian bank previously acquired by Santander, who have kindly decided not to sue.
  • A genus of ship-worms, little beasties capable of sending large vessels to the bottom.
The latter is my favourite, and I hope yours. The WP entry mentions in this connection a chilly gem of Thoreau's:
Though all the fates should prove unkind,
Leave not your native land behind.
The ship, becalmed, at length stands still;
The steed must rest beneath the hill;
But swiftly still our fortunes pace
To find us out in every place.
The vessel, though her masts be firm,
Beneath her copper bears a worm;
Around the cape, across the line,
Till fields of ice her course confine;
It matters not how smooth the breeze,
How shallow or how deep the seas,
Whether she bears Manilla twine,
Or in her hold Madeira wine,
Or China teas, or Spanish hides,
In port or quarantine she rides;
Far from New England's blustering shore,
New England's worm her hulk shall bore,
And sink her in the Indian seas,
Twine, wine, and hides, and China teas.
It is often said that we arty-fartys should learn basic arithmetic. In order to offer us some kind of return, should literacy be required of bankers?

1 comment:

Candide said...

"It" seems to be referring to people. If anything was ever Freudian...