To the members of the House of the British ParliamentThis club of gents (not many ladies, I'm told), who on seeing a flag with the relevant number of stripes helpfully develop a flagpole in their underpants, is off to London next Monday (in terms of numbers Champions League final weekend might have been smarter), presumably to say thanks for this major contribution to the Balkanisation of southern Europe. Given that none of them appears to be able to speak English here are some suggestions as to what kind of gift might be appreciated:
The Diputees, and other elected Officials, the Entities and the individual signers, we recognize the high significance of the delivered Motion that was rendered on 14 of July 2010, with the text as follows:
[blah blah blah]
We wish to show you aou deep gratitude for your action which we value of a proove of solidarity of the English, Scottish, Welsh and Irish nations towards the Catalan nation, and as example to the European Union we wish to become a real union of free nations.
GRÀCIES, THANK YOU, DIOLCH
- The SNP, Plaid Cymru and SDLP members (9/14), as well as John McDonnell (IRA, Hayes and Harlington, 1261 EDMs this parliament): nothing at all, although it might be cool to say "thanks" in Irish and Scots Gaelic as well as Welsh (try internet).
- Andrew George (Cornish National Party, St Ives, 747 EDMs): nothing at all, and with his majority of 1,719 don't even bother looking up "thanks" in Cornish.
- John Hemming (566 EDMs) and Mike Hancock (1187): Costa Brava hotel coupons may do you no good unless you throw in half a dozen women; Mike is said to prefer female Russian secret agents, although his ex-colleague Matyas Eorsi may believe that a sugar-coated effigy of Vladimir Putin's dong would do the trick.
- Was it really that smart to address Caroline Lucas (Green, the middle class bits of Brighton & Hove ex-Greenham Common, 502 EDMs) as a "gentleman"?
(Oops, sorry: h/t Candide)