Foreigners may know what a chiringuito is, but they're unlikely to preferentially associate rape with monk fish. Our excellent correspondent has suggested that a french-letter machine in the bathroom of this Mojácar hostelry might also help.
A bit off-territory (Salmiya sounds like Kuwait), but too good to miss. Although ... perhaps it is after all a chicken, and not a kitchen--a friend in Venezuela had a bullock sacrificed to celebrate his move, and I can quite easily imagine Arabian developers giving away a free chicken with every flat. (Thanks to MM)